i do not deny it. my whole heart and body is full of anger and hate for the one person who cause me to be like that. i will not forgive. i never will. i want to have my revenge but i do not know wether will i be able to have it. i hate her so much. i want to hate you to but it's just so hard. why do you have to force me to become like this? why?! what have i done to you? all this pain and devastation can be ended with just one sentence. why not just say it and end all of this?! why do you want to go on torturing me? why do you want to use my feelings against myself? why? why do you wan to keep on playing this game? i do not deny that as i am writing now my heart is so angry and full of hate! i hate her! i'm not sure wether i hate you! i hope you can see all the hings i'm writing but i know you never will. please just stop it!